I've been thinking a lot about my brother lately. I actually think about him on a daily basis.
My heart aches when I think of not having him around. I'm still healing, it's a long process.
There are a lot of ideas out there on how to go through the grieving process, each person is different and grieves in their own way. I don't believe there is a right or wrong way as long as you grieve in a healthy way.
I've laughed, cried, been angry, denied...etc.
When I think about Josh, I've been trying to think of the fun times I've had with him instead of thinking about the accident. It's not hard to do there were a lot! He was a sweet and loving man. I was so blessed to have him as a brother.
This weekend and into Monday I was just having a rough time, just lots going on that I was frustrated and sad about (cryptic no?!)
She doesn't know this but my good friend Kelly sent me an email literally right when I was at my "emotional break", you know the moment... God is so good, He knew what I needed. I'm not sure what spurred her to send me the email other than the fact that we have the same humor, either way God used her right when I needed it.
If you don't read the Natos blog...you should...she will have you laughing and crying, sometimes both.
Kelly sent me the link to her post from Monday called "Confessions of an older sister". In one word- HILARIOUS. It's a must read for sure (well really her whole blog rocks my socks so subscribe to it). I'm serious, go read it, right now, I'll wait...
Was I right or what?!
I truly believe the Lord gave us the ability to laugh because it's the best medicine for a wounded heart. Who doesn't love to laugh?! No, seriously...I need to know because I think I'd need to check ya for a pulse!
After wiping my tears from laugh-crying and running to the bathroom because I almost peed my pants, I sat down and wrote a few memories I have of Josh and I. Even the "bad" ones are good! Someday I might write my own "confessions of an older sister", my version will not be as colorful as Jami's but I never made my brother poop off of a fort before so she wins this category! :)
Mine would include black eyes, camping trips, almost-broken necks, trampoline dares and above all lots and lots of laughing.
I will probably always have this "Josh-shaped" hole in my heart but I think I'll start filling it up with the fun memories!
Thank you Kelly for being what I need in a friend. Thank you to Jami Nato for just being awesome!
|Those were the days...free and easy! :)|